More than 3 million Americans are stalked every year. But too little is being done to stop it. Here's why that needs to change.
My stalker was my ex-manager. He asked me out for what I thought was a friendly lunch. He made numerous advances that I rejected, but he persisted. After I changed jobs, he started stalking me at my new office and texting me continuously. When I told my friends, they dismissed it and made jokes about it. Some co-workers even shamed me for leading him on when I met him for lunch. When I called the police, they told me to call back only if I was in physical danger.
The digital age has brought new implications for stalking; it can occur via phone apps, online platforms, and digital surveillance. Apps designed to track children’s whereabouts, gather phone data, GPS location tracking, and find friends or lost phones have been misused to follow others without consent.
It is typical for stalking to occur after a relationship, making it difficult for victims to be taken seriously, especially when they are men. In an interview, Don , a recentlyMy ex-wife used to track me everywhere I went using the “find my phone” function. She also had access to my computer, phone, and email. When we separated, she would stalk me online by hacking into my Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn. When she started stalking me at my home and workplace, I felt terrified.
Stalking is also normalized with phrases such as “it’s not stalking if you know the person,” even though stalking is most common between people who know each other. Andrea , a woman in her late twenties, shared her story: An acquaintance of my family stalked me for five years. I changed my phone numbers four times and moved three times to avoid being found. When he couldn’t find me, he harassed my family and stalked them instead. My family and friends still brushed it off and treated him like a lovesick victim, blaming me for his behaviours. They didn’t think it was stalking because, in the movies, it only happens with strangers, not a friend of the family.
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