Trump Spends Entire Speech Raving About Mar-A-Lago Sea Bass Special

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Trump Spends Entire Speech Raving About Mar-A-Lago Sea Bass Special
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PALM BEACH, FL—Addressing his most ardent supporters mere hours after his arrest on 34 counts of falsifying business records, former President Donald Trump spent his prime-time speech Tuesday raving about Mar-a-Lago’s sea bass special. “It’s incredible, folks, so succulent—they don’t serve sea bass like this up in…

PALM BEACH, FL—Addressing his most ardent supporters mere hours after his arrest on 34 counts of falsifying business records, former President Donald Trump spent his prime-time speech Tuesday raving about Mar-a-Lago’s sea bass special.

“This chef does wonderful, wonderful things with sea bass. I don’t know how he does it. I really don’t. There’s a bit of a kick, and it’s not too fishy. A baked potato and Caesar salad on the side. Really, my mouth is watering just thinking about it. Fresh caught, too. I swear, it’s the finest piece of fish you’ll ever have. And I’ll tell you a little secret: That’s actually why I flew back so early tonight. Not to see any of you. Okay, good night. Bye-bye.

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