How to develop a more profound love over time without resorting to tricks or manipulation
. Yet balance and moderation are valuable as well. Complete sincerity and openness are not always beneficial to us. It makes sense, therefore, that at the beginning of the relationship, our behavior should be quite tactful in order to prevent hurting one another. For example, it is not recommended to describe your entireAlthough both playing hard to get and withholding information about one’s sexual history is a deliberate concealing of information, the two cases are different.
Peter Jonason and Norman Li emphasize the importance in playing hard to get, in order to manipulate one’s perceived availability. As in other aspects of life, when a product is difficult to obtain, people perceive it to be more valuable than if it is readily available. Similarly, Gurit Birnbaum and colleagues claim that people are more attracted to prospective romantic partners who are selectively hard to get than to those who are uniformly easy or hard to get. They found that perceptions of prospective partners as hard to get not only heightened their mate value and desirability, but was also manifested in devoting more concrete efforts to further interaction.
I may add that in being polite, we refrain from revealing our authentic attitude in order not to hurt other people. However, as in the case of concealing our sexual history, it is done not to hurt other people, and not necessarily in order to benefit us.I have never played hard to get. Sometimes I can be slow to warm up, but that isn't an act. I do take some time to be comfortable with people. Playing hard to get implies that I am actually interested, but I pretend that I'm not.
Both these approaches involve a cooling off in behavior. Yet playing hard to get is the only approach that requires deceptive manipulation. In the “in due course” approach, both partners are aware of their genuine romantic attitudes, but decide to invest the required time for developing and enhancing their own feelings. In both cases, love must be developed and “earned” over time, becoming more meaningful and profound by experiencing a torturous postponement of their authentic sexual desires.
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