My Wedding Was a Disaster, and Yours Will Be, Too

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My Wedding Was a Disaster, and Yours Will Be, Too
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  • 📰 TheCut
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Even when you think you know people well enough to predict how they’re going to behave, you’re wrong

Photo-Illustration: Getty Images Welcome to It’s Complicated, a week of stories on the sometimes frustrating, sometimes confusing, always engrossing subject of modern relationships.

“Like this?” the stylist says, and starts brushing out some of the ringlets. Now I look like a Barbra Streisand–themed Barbie circa 1978. Six of those witnesses — my fiancé’s siblings — remind me of this toast every other time I see them. They were appalled by my mother’s words, and concerned over what those words foretold of their brother’s fate. Luckily, I didn’t notice their horrified faces at my wedding. But I had already been disappointed and embarrassed too many times in the previous 48 hours to notice.

My glow was real. It was 107 degrees outside, and I was wearing a big white dress that felt exactly like a giant, puffy comforter on my legs. I felt like an impostor in white — a scary, sweating, pregnant slut impostor. But three days earlier I’d panicked and chucked the ethereal, hot-pink empire-waist dress I’d chosen months earlier for its off-kilter, pregnancy-hiding qualities.

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