Dear How to Do It: Even though I live alone, my parents, siblings, cousins, etc. have keys to my apartment.
Relax, this is supposed to be fun, and it probably will be once you get over the hump and back to humping. Some of what you’re worried about—discussing sex beforehand, for example—is actually a potential buffer that could help you ease back in. These conversations don’t have to be fraught. They could actually give you the kind of direction that you currently feel you are without. Asking for consent doesn’t have to be accompanied by formalities or be written in calligraphy on heavy card stock.
Marc has been wonderfully accommodating about this and if anything, we feel especially close to each other lately, even as he has explicitly given me space to explore my building intimacy with Jeff. However, this is all new for us, and Marc also understandably feels a bit jealous and left out of the fun sometimes. Jeff is still interested in Marc and we are happy to include him in most activities, but Jeff and I absolutely have our own dynamic that Marc is simply not a part of.
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