How do you cultivate intimacy so that others feel understood, accepted, and cared for? Start here.
, who literally feel the emotions of others, may have an advantage in that they can connect to the speaker’s emotions effortlessly. However, the empathic listener must also be careful to avoid confusing others’ emotions with their own. Check in to make sure you’re reading their feelings correctly.
Affirming their perspective and feelings, even if you disagree with the narrative or do not share their feelings, can help to further build trust. However, if the line of logic does not make sense to you, ask whether you may ask a clarifying question. The line of reasoning and resulting emotion should make some sense to you. Pause to let the feelings sink in and state that that their response makes sense, that you get it.
Speak from a place of your personal truth and your own feelings, while avoiding negative judgments or criticisms. If you wish for them to behave differently in the future, be specific and clear about your request. Reiterate areas of agreement and commonality, and phrase differences as understandable and natural. Remember that agreeing to disagree is a success too and ultimately often the most sensible solution.
Commitment also implies that each person understands that a good relationship takes ongoing effort, patience, the benefit of the doubt, and. There will be setbacks and misunderstandings, and commitment to making it work motivates each to keep trying.
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