Dear How to Do It: This all feels vaguely violating...
Have you had any therapy after the shitty relationships you had with older guys as a teen? Since you’rea teen it seems right to assume that these relationships you had occurred when you were underage, and then, it’s not exactly surprising that you’re presenting what sounds a lot like a trauma response. You may have heard of fight, flight, or freeze. That’s the range of involuntary reactions many of us have to perceived threats, and it’s associated with trauma.
My issue is that he recently had sex with a cis woman which I was NOT ultimately OK with and although he’s agreed this won’t happen and has assured me that sex with me is far and away better than sex with the woman he slept with, I’ve been having a hard time getting back to feeling like he truly loves and enjoys my body.For one, I’m very tall, have a large body, and have pretty bad joint pain and flexibility, so a lot of positions he’s expressed interest in are a no-go for us.
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