Best-selling author, speaker & entrepreneur NeetaBhushan had all the traditional markers of success when she admitted that she was unhappy. She discusses reconciling with her past and advocating for herself. CelebrateYou UnexpectedBeginnings PrintIssue
has instant recall among Indians anywhere in the world. That golden lehnga. The train. The self-sacrificing hero who explains to the heroine that it would be wrong to go against their parents’ wishes, even as she berates him for not running away with her. The conservative NRI father who finally sees the error in his ways and gives his daughter the permission to live her life on her terms.
But I remember a time in my early twenties when I felt stifled; it was soon after I had started using Facebook. Initially, the platform offered me all the validation I had needed. I felt empowered. I was hooked. But after a while, I could sense a growing disillusionment and a discomfort. I felt a compulsion to be liked, to be witty, to exude #GoodVibesOnly. To accept a ‘friend request’ lest it resulted in unwanted confrontations and bad blood in real life.
As she takes a deep breath, I silently curse myself for putting her through the ordeal of recounting her trauma, but Bhushan is polite and forthcoming, a consummate professional. “By 19, I had this supercharged drive to prove my worth in society, to prove that my brother and I could get out of this dark tunnel. The next few years were achievement-oriented and all about climbing up the ladder.
Her words hit home. We must be resilient enough to take the calls that enable us to become the best version of ourselves. But it’s far from easy. I made one such decision recently when I moved back to Kolkata — more specifically, my hometown — after living away for nearly a decade.
Bhushan has an almost-toddler now, and there are times when she is exhausted and frustrated. “I always had mantras and affirmations that are very easy to include in my daily routine. It’s all about that word that will get you back to who you are. Unless you’re going through a bout of depression, you can train your mind just with positive affirmations. It also helps to create what I call an ‘emotional grit kit’ so that when you’re feeling fucky, you can pull yourself out.
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