This romcom feels ... illegal
Photo: Barry Wetcher/Universal Studios It’s a tale as old as time: One music superstar gets engaged to another. He cheats on her. So she marries a stranger during the middle of a concert. At least, that’s the premise of Jennifer Lopez’s new romanic comedy, Marry Me. The movie is like a musical version of TLC’s Married at First Sight … plus Jennifer Lopez. J.Lo plays the aforementioned music superstar, Kat Valdez, and Colombian singer Maluma plays Bastian, her cheating fiancé.
- J.Lo is engaged to fellow singer Bastian . She’s being sent engagement gifts from fans, and one person gave her a stove. Should I send Rihanna a microwave to congratulate her on her pregnancy? - So a major plot point of this movie is that weddings can be content for social media. Do I hear #weddingbells for Bennifer?- While I was Googling Maluma’s age, I learned that this movie is based on a graphic novel. Watching this film counts as reading a book.
- J.Lo has changed into her wedding dress mid-concert and looks like a Christmas Barbie ornament. But then she learns about her fiancé’s infidelity while on stage. She looks sad but still glamorous. Now, she’s giving a speech about love being a lie. If only someone could change her mind … - Now, J.Lo and Owen are going on a date to be photographed by the press. The date is at a bowling alley — the second most unrealistic plot point. Afterwards, the two of them go back to his place and J.Lo’s people are just … letting Owen Wilson be alone with her? This man could be a serial killer!
- He invited J.Lo to his school’s semi-formal. Isn’t this a middle school? Do middle schools have semi-formals? J.Lo has chosen to wear a pink chiffon gown with an exposed chest plate. She would absolutely get dress-coded in real life.
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