The model’s first essay collection, My Body, is well written, thoughtful, and honest. Is that enough?
) who are better equipped to address that. But this bigger context is lacking in the book, and some hard questions go unasked.
Many people benefit from the way their body looks. Plenty of us have at least a sliver of what Ratajkowski has, the luck of being considered attractive and charming. But what do we do with that? Few want to give up their privilege or the rewards that come with it, and few can relax enough to let their body exist without interference. Ratajkowski doesn’t talk about allowing herself to gain weight or eat with full freedom, and that’s no surprise; it would fundamentally change her career.
In “Buying Myself Back,” Ratajkowski writes, “I have learned that my image, my reflection, is not my own.” It’s about the very tangible matter of her losing rights to images of herself — paparazzi shots, a shitty photographer profiting off her newfound fame — but it’s also a metaphor about being a woman in the world. You do not belong to yourself. No matter what you wear or how you act or what you ask for, you’re being served for consumption.
It’s not even like she’s having that much fun: In “K-Spa,” she writes about how she “dissociate[s]” when she’s being observed, saying, “I don’t even really recognize my body as.
In the final essay, “Releases,” she writes about being pregnant with her son, how it changed her understanding of her own flesh. On a bike ride while pregnant, she has an epiphany. “Thank you! What a joy life can be in this body, how it’s a beautiful tool. But it’s a tool nonetheless, and one that proves difficult to both incorporate into and distinguish from her sense of self.
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