In today's Dear Annie column, a reader suggests honesty is the best policy when it comes to telling someone you know that they smell.
While it might hurt in the short run, Annie Lane thinks its better to tell someone if they have odor issues. Otherwise, they might suffer from it for years. About 25 years ago, my dental hygienist may have been thinking the same thoughts as “Wishing I Could Talk to Him,” the woman whose husband has bad breath, while she talked about my teeth rather than telling me the truth -- namely, that she was smelling the rotting bacteria that gave me very offensive breath.
Subsequently, I dated a woman whose breath was always fresh for the first year and then turned horrid, making being close unpleasant. She insisted that I was hypersensitive to smells. Nonsense, I thought, and then I remembered my experience, told her about that and convinced her to use a mouthwash. Her friends and relatives were too polite to tell her.
In a related story, one that occurred 40 years ago, I was working on a tenant’s apartment after we both had finished our day jobs. I discovered that this man, who was a professional in his occupation, had an offensive body odor. We weren’t friends but were mutually respectful. After a couple of brief conversations, I told him that I’d like to tell him what most people wouldn’t for fear of offending him.
I let that sink in, and he was listening, so I continued and told him that he, being accustomed to it, couldn’t smell his own body odor, which surely hurt his social life. I suggested that he wash everything he had, take at least a daily shower, use a deodorant and put on fresh clothes every day. I told him that if he wanted more honest feedback, he could just ask me. He thanked me and followed my recommendations. We both felt good about the communication.
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