In today's Dear Annie column, Annie Lane advises a reader to talk to her cousin to find out why she called a man rumored to be in a relationship with her instead of asking her directly.
Although they aren't very close, one Dear Annie reader wonders why her cousin decided to stir the pot about a juicy rumor at church rather than ask her directly. My cousin and I attend the same church. We have never been close; she was closer to my younger sister, who passed away in April of last year. Although we are not close, we had always been cordial to each other.
Approximately two weeks ago, however, my cousin called a married man who attends the same church and told him she had heard that he and I were in a relationship. He said he told her it was not true. I called her and she did not answer, so I left her a text asking why she asked him that. I am her first cousin, and if she needed to ask anyone, it should have been me. I have seen her since, but she has not responded. I am upset and feel she owes me an apology.
How should I approach her? It is not true, and the man and I have never been in a relationship. -- Owed an ApologyYou are correct that, if we were all perfect, your cousin would realize how wrong she was and apologize to you. But all you can do to make that happen is talk to her about it. Tell her how you feel and that your feelings were hurt.
There is still a possibility that she won’t apologize. Some people really don’t like to. Then you have a choice. You can suffer by expecting someone to do something they are incapable of doing, or you can forgive her and free yourself of that burden. Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.
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