Ask Amy: I was honest about how he hurt me, and he shrugged it off

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Ask Amy: I was honest about how he hurt me, and he shrugged it off
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I made an effort, but now my grudge has grown.

I have since sent him messages on Facebook for holidays, but that is it.

You are holding a grudge, and with every effort you make, you hold your grudge tighter, so I’m going to call a penalty on this play for “holding.” I carry baggage from my own crazy family, and I’ve tried very hard not to let my own background guide my life.Samantha has a wall in her home with various family pictures arranged on it. I am not on this wall. There are pictures of other family members — some of whom she has said she does not even like.

Please, bring this up to your daughter. Don’t overwhelm her with your complicated emotional reaction, but ask her, “Hey, if I can find a nice photo of the two of us from your childhood — and let you pick out the frame — would you be willing to find some space on your wall for it?”about how her daughter’s friends showed up for her while the daughter was dying.

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