'How does water not fall off the side of the Earth?'
"I'm a vet tech and was giving discharge instructions to a dog owner after a neuter. After the dog was neutered, the owner goes, 'So where are his stitches?' I say, 'Oh, between his legs.' He asks, 'His front legs or back legs?' I went, '...his back legs.'""A star basketball player in my high school health class once said, 'I think being cryogenically frozen would be cool because you could see the future.
She then went, ‘Oh! Why didn’t it work?’ Her face when I explained to her that wasn’t helium she had just breathed in, but some dad’s breath that’d been in the balloon for hours, was priceless.""Someone told me that I am technically not a twin because I was born two minutes earlier than my brother instead of exactly at the same time.""My uncle once said plastic wasn't bad for the environment because, 'It’s not like it’s not of the earth.
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