'Tattooing became a way to claim my body...especially during moments when my body didn’t feel like mine anymore' fariharoisin
I got my first at 18, my skin forever embedded with La ilaha illallah , a declaration said by Muslims, a spiritual oath to Allah. Since then, tattoos have been many a thing to me: a form of self expression, a tangible creative outlet, a pastiche of memories forever etched in blue ink, indelibly onto my body.
Our shared love made me want to delve deeper into how this art form is expressed and expresses us, to uncover the mystique around its ubiquity, charm and taboo. Tattoos acquired through stick and poke, untrained hands or mechanical projects were almost a rite of passage for my friends and me in Williamsburg and Montréal, the cities where I’ve spent most of the last decade. During summers, hopping between both cities, I remember diligently witnessing my peers await words like a capitalized “slut,” “bitch” or a cursive “boo”—accompanied by a cartoon version of Casper. Even then, I had a feeling these words might not mean much to them in the long run.
It felt important to eternalize such a random reality, and almost all 30 of my bodily companions, including the sakura, are designs that I chose impulsively. Mine are mainly small, and symbolic. Lots of arrows that cross-culturally mean “the right direction.” A Muslim star and moon constellation, grand Franciscan-style prayer hands and a portrait of a veiled mother recently line the whole back of my left bicep. Miraculously, I regret none of them.
I’ve always felt like an outcast, too strange and otherworldly, never like other people—let alone like girls. I’ve never felt very feminine, but more a tomboy. I didn’t want to look pretty, instead I just wanted to look like myself. I started realizing that tattoos were a way for me to accept my very tangible body, so I began to see it as almost spiritual. That it gave meaning to my existence; it made me want to be here, alive. And that felt like a sign from God.
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