Why do we sometimes feel ashamed when we want attention?
"I’m called 'too much' or 'too intense' and that allows people to dismiss me and dismiss what I have to say because it’s delivered in an emotional way."
When you suppress your desire for attention,"you learn that your needs and your desires are not important or that they’re too much, and that can breed resentment, and it can breed a sense in your partner that there is something you want but you’re withholding [it]," says Fielding. Mackenzie, 26, told me she struggled to ask her partner for attention when they were newly living together at the.
Similarly, Sarah, 30, explains:"When I was younger, the loudness of my voice and personality were called 'attention-seeking.'" She adds:"Growing up as a girl in a religious household, the value of modesty was drilled in hard. I was taught that my body, my voice, and my personality shouldn’t be too much... Now, I understand that it’s perfectly human to want attention.
Clearly, there are lots of reasons why we learn to suppress our need for attention. I’m still working on it but I’m so damn proud of myself when I recognize I want attention and straight-up say:"Hey, I need attention right now, can you give that to me?" Seriously, I come right out and ask for it .
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