'Basically the whole reason I get out of bed in the morning is to help single women understand that our singleness isn’t a problem.'
. It isn’t something we have to “do” something about. It isn’t something about us that’s broken, in need of fixing. It’s not like we’re all walking the streets with our shoulders dislocated and our noses gushing blood. In the era of my single life I’ll call “The Before Times,” single was something that was wrong with me — something that was part of my normal day-to-day. It wasn’t a panicked feeling, finding a partner wasn’t necessarily a goal as important as, it was just kind of a given.
It’s the guilt of doing nothing that makes single women re-download apps that never served us in the first place. The guilt of doing nothing keeps us going on every single date we manage to arrange, no matter about it. The guilt of doing nothing has us hanging on to one-word text messages and dumbass excuses about some guy being “busy with work” or “out of town” or whatever they use to avoid having to say “.” The guilt of doing nothing about our singleness is what keeps women going back for more bullshit.
Doing nothing is harder than doing something. It isn’t talked about much, but it’s true. Doing nothing is the hardest something I’ve ever done. And believe me, I catch myself hamster wheeling it through life all the time. Chasing down freelance work, constantly thinking I’m not “doing” enough to earn money as a writer. And I have to catch myself, and relax myself, and remind myself that not doingdoesn’t mean I’ll have nothing.
I made the choice to do less, to put less overt effort into finding a partner. Without question, my first year without dating apps was the happiest year of my adult life. I didn’t spend my days swiping, I spent them creating.
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