Why Sexual Desire Is So Important to a Relationship

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Why Sexual Desire Is So Important to a Relationship
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Sexual desire can serve as a gauge of a partner’s value as a mate. Here's how—and why it matters.

desire, however, tends to decline over time, with many couples failing to maintain sexual fulfillment in their long-term relationships. Sometimes this decline in desire indicates broader relationship problems. In our recent research, we propose that sexual desire serves as a gauge of a partner’s value as a mate that ensures that only relationships with valued partners will be sustained.

In the first and second studies, romantically involved participants relived an activity they experienced with their partner, which was either sexual or non-sexual. Then, participants rated their desire to do something that would make their partner happy or disclosed a recent personal event to their partner during a videotaped face-to-face interaction . Judges who watched these interactions evaluated the partner’s behavioral expressions of responsiveness to the discourses .

In our third study, we sought to demonstrate that perceiving partners as valued mates increase the desire for these partners, thereby motivating investment in maintaining the relationship with them. To do so, romantically involved participants recalled an event in which they either highly valued or less valued their partner.

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