'The harmless jokes aren't so harmless after all.'
Images By Tang Ming Tung/DigitalVision/Getty Images
These are small cruelties that perhaps every child has experienced, squashing down the ballooning shame so they aren’t laughed at by adults or peers. Because when you’re little, one of the greatest grievances is being seen as babyish. Too sensitive. The initial ridicule of being singled out gets overshadowed by a larger fear of being ostracized. So you play along. It turns out these moments don’t lessen in adulthood, particularly if you’re seen as an easy target for social performers.
These moments represent a pattern all too familiar to me and many other women, perhaps. We are conditioned to become social lubricants, indulging in small talk and jokes that frequently come at the cost of our own dignity. Self-deprecation is our second language.
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