Why I Finally Broke Up With The Natural Hair Community

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Why I Finally Broke Up With The Natural Hair Community
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A journey from relaxed hair to natural curls — and back again:

Author:Mary AndersonUpdated:Dec 6, 2017Original:Mar 21, 2017My earliest and most painful memory is getting my first relaxer at the age of three. The strong smell and the sting from the chemicals quickly became synonymous with caring for my hair, a routine that nonetheless became as ritualistic as brushing my teeth as I grew up.

But when I got to college and it fell to me to master my own hair-care routine, I was ready to try any and every style, and I simply viewed going natural as just another opportunity to try a new look. I could feel the stares of the other natural customers next to me. There was no music playing; the only sound was the shears quietly snipping away the chemically straightened strands that I had always known. When the stylist finished cutting and handed me a mirror, I didn't feel... much of anything. I wasn't in shock, but I wasn't thrilled, either. Most of the hair I'd known all of my life was gone, but I was surprisingly indifferent and detached from it.

As someone with the thickest, tightest 4C coils, it never felt to me like natural women with tighter curl patterns were as celebrated as those with looser textures. From Instagram memes calling certain naturals 'bad' for having tighter curls, to constantly being encouraged to stretch my coils so that they'd appear longer, it seemed that all around me, my kind of natural hair wasn't as desired or embraced.

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