Do you have a blame-shifter in your life? Here's how they tend to assert their innocence and maintain control of the relationship.
Blame-shifting not only elevates the abuser but rationalizes his or her unwillingness to take responsibility.
This is a story about blame-shifting and verbal abuse. All verbal abuse is about power and control. Verbal abuse can be a one-off in a relationship that is relatively healthy—yes, people sometimes lose it—but it dominates in relationships that are defined by an imbalance of power. The victim of the abuse is always the less powerful person in the relationship, and the person with power uses verbally abusive behaviors to maintain control.
and any relevant discussion from one person to the other, this maintains the control that the blame-shifter wants.In intimate relationships, the abuser uses what he or she knows about you to gain a home-court advantage. If, for example, you tend toaway from confrontations or backing down is your first line of defense, deflection will the first tool the blame-shifter reaches for because it’s highly effective.
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