BritishVogue’s AnnieLord8 reflects on how SSRIs, among other things, have made it less likely for men to orgasm during sex.
“Yeah, sorry, they can’t spend decades centring the male orgasm as the end of sex and then say it’s no longer the end of sex.”Of course, I wasn’t being serious, but it made me think. What do I want? A while ago I was sleeping with this guy, and I remember him asking the second or third time we slept together, “What do you want?”
I was on top, looking at him, and I remember wanting to hide. Trying to think of an answer to his question was like trying to describe a colour I’d never seen before. I was tongue-tied. So I said, “What do you want?” bouncing the question back to him, and then he repeated it back to me a second time so that it felt as though we were playing that stupid game the Chuckle Brothers used to do where they went, “To me, to you,” again and again and again.by Tracy Clark-Flory.
And what is left surviving at the end, for me, for the women I know? When we imagine sex, we’re rarely ever ourselves but someone else entirely, because it would be too shameful to be us. Most of us have some sort of praise kink – where you get off on someone telling you you’re good at stuff – presumably because the focus is on someone else’s pleasure. We’re so objectified that we like to become inanimate objects, or think about being watched, followed.
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