Why a Toilet Flush Is John Roberts’ Worst Nightmare Come True

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Why a Toilet Flush Is John Roberts’ Worst Nightmare Come True
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This is the Supreme Court’s “emperor has no clothes” moment.

To see why the toilet flush was so shocking, it helps to understand the extreme measures the court takes to preserve its status as a mythical temple of justice during normal times. Visitors must walk down a gleaming marble plaza to enter the building, passing by ornamentation that seems to have been stolen from some ancient Greek palace: There are turtles holding up lampposts and friezes and monumental statues, including aholding a tiny robed lady.

Is this formality silly? Reading it on the page, you may think so. But attend court arguments and you might find yourself surprised by the power of the rituals. When the justices take their seats behind the elevated mahogany bench, they look like a council of oracles prepared to reveal a sacred text. In a sense, they are: The justices’ pronouncements carry the force of law; their words can alter the ground rules that govern our nation. You might roll your eyes at the ceremonial pomposity.

This legal liturgy serves a profound purpose. The court presents itself as a majestic body of immense authority because, on some level, its members are insecure about their ability to exercise any authority at all. SCOTUS’ tiny police force cannot march into Congress or state legislatures to enforce a decision. The chief justice cannot order the president to send in the National Guard if a governor defies a ruling.

There are few things less magical than the sound of a toilet flushing. It makes us think of base human functions, of the necessary yet foul things our bodies do every day. We are supposed to view the justices as brains in a jar who operate on a higher plane of intellect than many of us can even access.

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