When Your Mother Plays the Victim

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When Your Mother Plays the Victim
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4 long-term consequences of having a mother who always acts like a martyr

was completely covert. As this 35-year-old son tells it: “Where most parents want to brag about their kids, even stretching the truth to make them look better than they are, my mom does the exact opposite, deeply downplaying and minimizing everything we've done and achieved when catching up with family and friends. I never understood it but then came to think she loves the sympathy more than to make others proud or.

That was true for"Daniel," the middle child, with a brother three years older and a sister six years younger. He is now 45, and the father of two: Daniel was the appointed “rescuer” as he tells it, the one who had to console Mom and take her side and “build her back up” after a disappointment: “My brother was the troublemaker, as Mom saw it, so I blamed him for her unhappiness; without even understanding what a scapegoat was, I was brought up to heap blame on him which both of my parents did. My baby sister was left out of the loop since my brother was nine years older, and he left the house when she was only nine.

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