How conceding in arguments can help you grow, writes swhitbo
Knowing when it's time to give in to someone you disagree with is important to maintaining good relationships.
What happens in your own relationship? Do you feel this kind of balance or does it seem that one person’s wishes take priority over the others? Although you know logically that balance inis preferable, would you rather have it so that it’s you who has that priority? Wouldn’t conflict just go away? Conflicts such as these can pop up in any relationship, not necessarily just the one with your most intimate partner. You might have a dispute with a colleague at work over the best course of action to follow in dealing with a report. As your colleague points out the logical flaws in your position, you find yourself digging your heels in further even though, in the back of your mind, you know that your colleague is right.
There is a very strong positive psychology element to SDT which is worth considering for a moment. As the authors note, “SDT… assumes an inner propensity toward growth and integration as being characteristic of a healthy person." Ideally, both you and your partner are able to express this “inner propensity.” If you remove your partner’s autonomy by always having your wishes followed, then your partner’s ability to grow will accordingly become suppressed.
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