What the Orlando Nightclub Pulse Meant to Me As a Queer Teen

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What the Orlando Nightclub Pulse Meant to Me As a Queer Teen
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“I was the best and the worst versions of myself at Pulse. It was the backdrop for so many of my firsts. The first time that I truly felt confident and secure. The first time I met so many of the people that I love,” wrote morgancohn

Photo: John Lund/Getty Images The best time at Pulse was always from 2 to 2:30 a.m. Right after last call, but before the bar closed. This is when people got most comfortable. Some were wrapping up conversations with people and exchanging contact information, while others danced on top of the go-go dancer platforms shouting the lyrics to some power ballad, or made out with the person that became their date for the night.

Words like “carnage,” “slaughter,” “casualties” were used to refer to people that I know, people that I saw out all the time, people that I have probably looked around at in a room and felt happy. That first night, during a moment when I was by myself, a girl sat down next to me on the patio — the first girl to ever hit on me at a bar. She pointed to Jon and Lee and said, “I think they’re falling in love right now.” She was right. They were together for three years. That girl has been one of my closest friends since.

We’d arrive at the club, underage, and the door guy would mark our hands with hearts in place of the usual X’s. We’d make a lap through the circular floor plan to see who was there before we committed to a location, usually the patio, where we’d make eyes at strangers and say hi to friends until we felt drunk enough to dance.

We’d all make our way to IHOP, dubbed Gayhop, where the booths were full of every variation on the gender spectrum. We’d linger for as long as possible.

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