'When the verdict finally came, I was, of course, scared, but also relieved: It meant that all of these years of curious pain and fatigue were real.'
A week before my wedding, I was in the ER with a doctor standing over me, flipping my eyelid back. As he looked for the cause of searing pain in my eye and a vampire-like sensitivity to light, I was trying to convince him not to prescribe me eye drops, which would preclude me from wearing mascara on my wedding day. Before he sent me off with some drops, he cautioned that if this eye inflammation came back, it could be the symptom of something more serious. As it turns out, it was.
Prior to my eye incident, I had chalked up my chronic back pain and exhaustion to having overdone it at the gym, sitting at a desk all day, wearing stilettos for too long. But something was wrong. Every possible yoga class and appointment—massage, physiotherapy or chiropractic—would give me a few hours of reprieve, but then such stiffness and deep pain would set in that I couldn’t stretch, rub or vinyasa my way out of.
There are more than 80 types of autoimmune disease, and they can affect anything from your joints to the lining of your intestine to your skin . One rationale is the hygiene hypothesis, which posits that we have become so clean that our immune system is lopsided, resulting in allergy and inflammation of our own cells.
Coming to terms with how my body really felt came to a head when I took off with a good friend for a weekend in New York. Every few hours of walking required a half hour of stretching. A day spent doing what we’d normally do completely levelled me. By dinner, I struggled to carry on a conversation. I found myself apologizing—my friend likely didn’t recognize her travel mate. I felt frustrated and defeated.
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