“It’s difficult enough to get through a shift while being constantly misgendered, but there was a minefield of other triggers to navigate.” — Charlie Monlouis-Anderle
Every weekend around 3 p.m., I left my morning shift at a restaurant in Manhattan took the subway to a restaurant in Brooklyn, where I worked evenings. My back ached, and sweat pooled under my arms from the heat trapped in my coat. I tried to relax, anticipating the tension and pain that I dreaded taking root in my body the moment I arrived for my evening shift. My blood pressure rose, and the dry heat from the oven cracked the skin of my nostrils and made my nose bleed.
From my first day on the job as a line cook in Brooklyn, I felt self-conscious about the ways that I broke social codes. I didn’t spend half my paycheck at the bar, brag about lack of sleep, or come to work wasted. I declined the occasional offer of a bump of coke in the bathrooms. As a non-binary femme person, I was almost always the odd one out in the back of house. No one asked for my pronouns nor respected them once I’ve made clear that I go by “they” and “them.
In my first months on the job, I formed a natural alliance with the few other queer-identified employees who work in front-of-house, and we kept an eye out for one another. But it became difficult to hold each other up when our attempts to affect change waned under the weight of continuous disappointments. A typical shift at my restaurant job started with prep.
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