'l was once invited to a bachelorette that would've run me $500 for one night and I just didn't have it. I was working a minimum wage job. The pressure from the planner was so strong, I wound up physically sick.'
There’s really no telling what's in store when you receive an invitation today: could be an e-vite to your ex-roommate’s dog’s 1st birthday, could be an elaborate save the date for a wedding ceremony in Tahiti in 10 weeks.
But there is doing it and there is overdoing it. We conducted a survey of more than 800 of our readers, and found that 44% have attended an out-of-state destination wedding, and 33% have been to a Big Deal Birthday party in the past year. One in five Refinery29 users said they had attended an “Instagram-worthy” group vacation, complete with matchings outfits and photoshoots. One in five surveyedby their social calendars to talk to their therapists about it.
This is why today's bridal showers are rightfully much more low-key. If you're going to one, the same gifting formula above applies here, too. Buy something within your budget, or bring nothing at all to save your cash for the big day, the wedding itself.Historically, the transition to parenthood was a very private affair. For centuries, it was considered not just uncouth, but immoral for a pregnant woman to simply be seen in public.
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