'The most interesting critique that stuck with me was several men who told me I was selfish. 'Really?' I thought. Selfish for knowing what I wanted and willing to wait for it?' said Amanda McCracken, who told people she chose to be abstinent.
But saying no can also offer similar perks. Some may opt for abstinence because they're fed up with hookup culture and crave an emotional connection. Others may use the opportunity for mindfulness and reflection.
Sex experts clarify there's no"right or wrong" way to be abstinent. McCracken dated and was"intimate" with numerous men during her abstinence journey, but she refrained from sex. This experience led her to find a"healthy and irreplaceable" romance with her husband. "There's nothing wrong with wanting a secure, attached relationship that prioritizes commitment before sex, and for me, there's something beneficial about a slow buildup."When abstinence is a choice, it"can really be an amazing experience," according to a psychosexual therapist and couples counselor. Just as it's OK to want casual hookups, it can also empowering to remove yourself from a culture that pressures people to be sexually active.
McCracken explains. As a result, this entitlement leads to anger, misogyny, resentment and potentially violence."Unlike incels, voluntary celibates don't believe they're entitled to sex," she says. "Instead, they believe they're entitled to choose what they do with their bodies, despite what pop culture tells us is normal. And in that choice lies the empowerment."
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