LAS VEGAS—In what was apparently the biggest event of their season, sources confirmed Tuesday that some fucking UFC 225 or 134 thing reportedly happened last weekend.
The fight, which took place in Vegas or whatever city sanctions these things, reportedly featured someone named Silva and probably another guy named Ortiz or Muto. Several commercials airing on ESPN and Spike promoted the event as a “showdown” as well as a “revenge match,” suggesting that at some point these guys had done this thing with each other before.
Eyewitnesses reported that comedian Joe Rogan, who apparently has been really involved with this stuff since whenever it began, provided color commentary for the fight alongside some other guy.“It was a tough match,” said one of the fighters, who is some sort of wrestler or does tae kwon do or whatever they do in, adding that he had tremendous respect for his opponent, whomever the hell that was. “Not a lot of people gave me a chance, but I proved them wrong.
Moments into the second round, one of the men sprinted toward the other and plowed into his opponent’s chest, which is reportedly how they earn points or something.“Silva went fucking crazy,” said one UFC fan, likely referring to when one guy wrapped his leg around the other guy’s chest before twisting his arm behind his neck in what is probably called a triangle or choke-bar or The Katonga.
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