The Tucson City Council was happy but practical as it started hashing out how to spend a $150 million surplus. Let's be extremely impractical instead.
Tim Steller The Tucson City Council members contained their excitement last week as they talked about how to spend the city’s $150 million surplus.
Of course, this is a borderline sacrilegious proposal for the site of Tucson’s birthplace. To make the watery plunge fit Tucson’s history, we could call it the Acequia Slide and have it splash land in a historically accurate agricultural canal.Raise the mountainMount Lemmon and the Santa Catalinas are impressive, but they’re not as impressive as they were around 25 million years ago.
We don’t have to stand for this anymore. The solution is zip lines. With $150 million, surely we can outfit every dangerous canyon and wash with zip lines at the crossing points. Those trapped can then simply zip to the other side and be on their way. To give you a flavor, the Weekly Citizen reported on Sept. 5, 1885: “The streets were nearly deserted today because everybody had gone to the Park to view the preparations for the opening of the fiesta to-night. It will be a grand time and nine out of every ten people in the city can be found there.”
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