“My real mistake was taking an all-or-nothing approach. It’s not surprising that extreme or rigid goals can lead to burnout, but my bigger problem was that I couldn’t be flexible with my infractions,” says charlottecowles
Photo: Circa Images/Universal Images Group via Getty I started 2019 hot out of the gate. Like most people every January, I was motivated by post-December bloat — too many unread emails, so much pie, all that money spent on random last-minute gifts and bottles of wine and end-of-year sales. But I also felt focused and clear-headed, excited about work projects and just terrified enough of my deadlines to know I couldn’t mess around. I knew what I wanted: a tighter ship, a sense of control.
My action phase was great while it lasted. I hit all my terrifying deadlines and even meditated every morning for four whole months. To force myself to stick to a budget, I wrote down everything I spent, added it up at the end of every week, and submitted a report to a website called StickK.com that’s designed to hold people accountable to their goals .
In the midst of this, I moved apartments, which is always more expensive than you think it will be, and bought some new furniture. Part of it was fun, in a reckless sort of way, but I wish I could have found a more flexible system that didn’t fall apart as soon as things got out of whack. Avoiding the eff-it effect isn’t about taking your goals less seriously. Nor should it be conflated with the ubiquitous “embrace failure” rallying cry. Instead, it’s about keeping track of when and where you backslide so that you can be aware enough to nip it in the bud next time, according to Marlatt. Ideally, if you have a good understanding of what makes you likely to lose motivation , then you can build safety nets around yourself so that you don’t spiral.
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