Here's why men might start investing less in their relationship—and how to turn things around before it's too late
Two-thirds of the divorces in our country are filed for by women, often leaving their husbands shell-shocked.
But life changes. Responsibilities increase. Individual interests become increasingly important. Relationships aren’t prioritized as they were early on. Emotional and physical closeness begins to diminish. It’s now that women plan their exit strategy—“I’ll leave when the kids leave home,” “I will look for a new partner to get my needs met and then I’ll get a divorce,” “Once I can support myself, I’m out of here.” And in the meantime, having surrendered, women no longer complain. Because implementing their plan can take years, women suffer silently.
The problem isn’t the fact that spouses’ love languages are different. In fact, even in healthy, happy marriages, partners usually have different love languages. Problems occur when people fail to recognize their partners’ ways of feeling loved and make no effort to speak their languages. And when a person feels discounted or unloved, he or she tends to shut down and refuses to speak the other person’s love language.
So, years ago, when I described the Walkaway Wife Syndrome, I failed to recognize that men often seek closeness in ways that are different than their wives. Men. They initiate sex. They want to cuddle. They want to hug in the kitchen while dinner is being made. People who do not have touch as a primary love language just don’t see an invitation to have sex as a bid for emotional connection. But it is. In fact, it is no different than women asking men to spend more time together or talk.
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