SexDiaries: 4:01 p.m. Derek wants the kind of arrangement where I can text and say, “I’m coming over for game night. Do you want to f*ck after?” It seems a little clinical
Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher This week, a researcher struggles with what, and whom, she is looking for: 38, single, heterosexual, Baltimore.8:44 a.m. Working from home today. I’m a postdoc researcher, and I’m working on a presentation. Browsing Twitter, I see a photo of Bernie Sanders raising a fist amid a crowd of supporters, incidentally in front of a XXX Movie Arcade sign: Videos! Toys! Lotions! I text the photo to Chris — a financial analyst who lives in D.C.
6:00 p.m. I meet Derek on the corner and we walk to the café. He offers me a flower plucked from a bush. He does a lot of talking over dinner. He mentions that I date a lot. He doesn’t want to risk the friendship. He wants to have many things laid out and clarified. 8:44 p.m. Party at Derek’s. I sneak away for a minute to put my letter in his bedroom. I keep my distance from him during the party. I want to give him space. Also, maybe there is something incompatible about the two of us?
4:25 p.m. I meet Chris. I’m always a little nervous when I see him in person. We know each other well but mostly interact over text, so it’s still a novelty to see him. 11:17 p.m. Derek kisses me before he leaves. Mouth slightly open, arms firmly around me. He has a sort of raw masculinity about him, and yet his kisses are soft and sweet. This drives me wild.9:29 a.m. At a work meeting. Everyone is talking about boring science stuff. Meanwhile, I am reliving my encounter with Derek. I look around the table and imagine what each person is like in bed.
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