'...there’s no college class that teaches you how to come out; it’s personal and special and is only for you to know when you’re ready for. (And that’s okay). For me, silence was then a safety I’d always retreat to. Until today.' - itswolfgangruth Pride
Through a year filled with nights of grinding teeth, my parents and I reached a sort of agreement towards the end of 2017. They asked me to wait until my youngest brother graduated from high school to come out to them and everyone else; I understood, I think, or at least tried to. The thought of my brother being treated differently by his friends solely based on whom I’m attracted to was something I didn’t want him to face.
When I decided to get my first tattoo — a rainbow permanently inked on my arm — it started as a process that at first stung, a bit . Minutes passed. But soon the shaking from the nerves and the buzzing pain on my inner arm started to fade as I watched the colors of my identity join the tiny hairs above my veins like soulmates. I’d soon leave the tattoo parlor totally changed, yet not at all, as this rainbow is a symbol of what — and who — I’ve always been.
Outside, there was no rainbow along the horizon, as it would have lived up to the metaphorically dramatic storyline I’d like to visualize. However, there was still a rainbow — now, part of me — which broke through the glass I once could never get through. It allowed light and pride as the storm that once hovered me for so long finally ceased. And when I look down at that tattoo now, it’s hard to believe I ever lived without it.
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