SexDiaries: 'I’d rather be miserable and slutty than miserable and celibate'
Photo-Illustration: James Gallagher This week, a product manager distracting himself from his broken heart with sexting, drugs, and creative writing classes: 29, straight, single, Bushwick, product manager at a startup.6:30 a.m. I wake up and force myself to go for a short and unpleasant run. I’m in much worse shape than I was when I lived in California — too much drinking, drugging, and partying on weeknights in New York.
2:30 p.m. L. tells me she wants to see me tonight and I respond by telling her I’ve been obsessively watching the sex tape we made a few weeks ago. Then I wonder if “sex tape” is an outdated term, since we’re all filming on our phones now. It probably is, but I can’t think of anything better. 11 a.m. Adderall always makes me insatiably horny, so I’m sexting from work with H., who’s been my on-again, off-again sexting buddy for five years. We met on OkCupid, back when that was still cool. Hard to believe I’ve had a sexting buddy for half a decade — in some ways it’s the longest relationship I’ve ever had.
1 p.m. During lunch with a college ex, she tells me that I’m not a good person to casually date: “You’re complicated and moody, so if there isn’t a big reward at the end it’s not worth it.” She still knows me so well. 3 p.m. Bored and browsing Tinder. My approach to Tinder is incredibly lazy: I pay for the upgrade where you can see who likes you, and then just pick from those people.
1 a.m. Doing coke in someone’s bedroom with some co-workers who immediately pegged me as a fellow drug person. I’ve never been all that into coke, but it’s everywhere in New York. 2 p.m. Over at L.’s for another quickie before she leaves on a weeklong trip to Spain. She loves being dominated, so lately I’ve been doing this thing where I push her to her knees and make her start giving me head the second I walk into the door. Most of the time I can get into the dom stuff, but there’s always a little part of me that feels like I’m back in my high school improv troupe, playing a cheesy character.
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