The Problem With Rom Coms - Women’s Media Center

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The Problem With Rom Coms - Women’s Media Center
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“Women don’t always need to be feminine, but our gender expression shouldn’t be a determining factor in our relationships.” via WMC's the_fbomb

From the giggles shared with friends to the rushed heart rate caused by the guy’s attempt to win the girl over, there’s a reason why so many of us love rom-coms. But as comforting and engaging as these love stories can be, the truth is that most reiterate a problematic theme: The female protagonist is often quirky orfrom other girls in some way, and her relationships with men are usually connected to the protagonist’s rejection of femininity.

Notably, Andy takes on an overly feminine persona to lose Ben quickly; she installs a pink fluffy toilet seat in his bathroom and is extremely emotional during a meal, for example. While dramatic at times, Andy’s behavior plays into the idea that for a man to like a woman, she can’t be an emotional girly girl but has to be “different” — i.e., more masculine.

Moreover, this idea is also problematic for men, as it reinforces the idea that they cannot give in to femininity if they want to be the attractive, Knicks-loving, meat-eating protagonist like Ben. While not always false, these stereotypes still very inconspicuously advertise the ideal gender roles that should be taken to be in a successful relationship.

Yet while women in rom-coms can’t be too feminine, they also can’t challenge men in traditionally masculine spaces. When it comes to women at work in rom-coms, they are allowed to be successful in their relationships but rarely successful in their careers. Take, for example,, which follows Bridget Jones, an assistant for a London publisher, who has a huge crush on her boss.

The comforting feeling of sitting down to watch a romantic tear-jerker is something I, and I’m sure plenty of others, hold dear. But it’s time to be aware. A closer look at the problematic themes in “chick flicks” reveals the consistent trend in how women in relationships are presented under Hollywood’s spotlight, and it is not just the case for Bridget or Andy.

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