Once again we are granted a brief window into the futility of life with a ranking of things that definitely needed to be ranked. Today it's domestic beers.
feature the never-ending debate over which is Miller Light’s most notable characteristic: That it tastes great? Or that it’s less filling?
The debate is over. It certainly doesn’t taste great. After a particularly bubbly and fizzy nose, the actual flavor of Miller Light then becomes clear — that of a frat pledge’s khakis at 3 a.m. on a Sunday morning. Like the memory of an encounter with the wearer of such khakis, the stale, skunky taste is difficult to shake.“Grab a ‘stone,” the friendly copy on the Keystone Light can encourages you. It should be noted that this is a different imperative than “grab ’em by the stones.
Suddenly, an adult, human man appears on the screen and encourages you drink a refreshing Hamm’s beer. Then, like nothing happened, we’re back with the cartoon animals. Those were different times. And maybe Hamm’s beer was different back then, too, because today, it’s certainly not much to write home about. Flavorless and largely without character, save a vague swampiness, it’s certainly easy to drink, but I wouldn’t feed it to any forest creatures.
I’m not sure exactly why he thought that was funny, or even precisely what the joke was, but he overlooked one essential: that the beer, Schlitz, basically tastes like cardboard. Like a big cardboard box. It drinks more smoothly, thankfully, than a cardboard box.
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