The Monopoly Man Has Been Replaced by a Monopoly Girl Boss

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The Monopoly Man Has Been Replaced by a Monopoly Girl Boss
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She’s “Ms. Monopoly,” and she is the Monopoly Man’s niece and a “self-made investment guru”

Photo: Walmart You know when you’re playing Monopoly on family game night, and you’re having a good time, but you can’t help feeling oppressed by Rich Uncle Pennybags and his imperialist white-supremacist capitalist patriarchy? Isn’t it annoying when the game keeps committing micro-aggressions against you, like telling you to “advance token to the nearest Railroad and pay owner twice the rental to which he/she is otherwise entitled,” or repeatedly sending you to jail without due...

Good news: Hasbro has heard your complaints, and now they have created a board-game that even feminists can enjoy. The game’s mascot is “Ms. Monopoly,” and she is the Monopoly Man’s niece and a “self-made investment guru,” seemingly in the vein of Emily Weiss or Sophia Amoruso. Slay, queen. The game is touted as a “celebration of women entrepreneurs and inventors.” In it, female players are given more money to start and collect more money when they pass “Go.” Instead of landing on various real-estate properties, each square depicts an invention made by women, ranging from “stem-cell isolation” to “modern shapewear.”

In this new millennial feminist utopia, the railroad squares have been replaced by “ride-share” squares. And the oppressive thimble and iron pieces: gone! Based on zooming in on the photos on Walmart’s website — where the game is available next week — the pieces include a weight, a journal, a top-hat, a plane, a watch, and a wineglass. Some other ideas for game-pieces we would like to propose:-Keychain from The WingFinally, an excuse to become a gamer.

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