March madness is in the air. And we’re not talking about basketball. Here’s what the stars have to say about it, from The Examiner’s unqualified astrologer.
The planets love a cheeky theme, San Francisco, and this month’s is pretty straightforward. It’s all about green. Getting green , going green, hopefully even taking a step outside to see some green yourself. Or, if all else fails, just grabbing a shamrock shake. Here’s all the universe chatter I could intercept about what to expect. But just a head’s up, I am entirely unqualified to be a conduit of the cosmos. So, really, here’s my best guess at decoding it all.
Where does Burning Man art go if it doesn't burn on the playa? So long ephemeral, non-consumable art. The desert festival is increasingly preserving, helping sell and finding permanent homes for its creative outputYou’ve got an animal soul, Gemini. And that animal is Punxsutawney Phil. So it’s time for you to decide — is winter over?You’re a tough shell to crack, stoic crab. This month, the planets have prescribed you a soft boil. Share your tender, meaty insides.
This is one of those months where you’re going to run into a lot of people you know in the darndest of places. It’s going to feel serendipitous. Like surely the stars are involved and maybe it’s a sign that you should start dating one of them, or go into business with another. Well I’ve spoken to the Universe and they said that you really shouldn’t read into it. It just has something to do with the angle we’re rotating at and the season and what not. Oh and climate change.
The Achilles heel is old news, rambunctious sea goat. Humans have evolved out of such small vulnerabilities. Now, the crux of our possible doom is the chatbot. Type with only one eye open when using such machines, so as to protect yourself. Two eyes is too many.You’re making it rain this month. And that might be about money, but it also might be about tears. What I can tell you for certain is that in neither case will the output be your own. So try to be nice to people, Aquarius.
2023 horoscopes from The Examiner's unqualified astrologer Wondering what the New Year will bring? Here's what we heard around the Milky Way water cooler
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