This summer’s big scandal centered around a Mercedes-Benz–driving thief who stole at least 23 dozen eggs from a farm stand before her reign of terror was ended by police last week
Photo-Illustration: Curbed; Photos: The East Hampton Star There’s a line I often think about that really sums up the state of crime in the Hamptons. It appeared in a fall 2013 edition of the East Hampton Star and has haunted me ever since: “Only two people were charged with drunken driving last week, one in East Hampton Town and one in the village, as sure a signal as falling leaves that summer has ended.
Still, it’s not all garden-variety car crimes. Some are just crimes that involve gardens and cars. . And that wasn’t even the worst crime to occur at Goldberg’s Bagels. In May, a man called the cops to report that the soup was too salty. According to the Star, the man “is no longer allowed to enter the store upon pain of arrest.”
A paparazzo in a blue Toyota, after being turned away from the Sag Harbor Yacht Club yard on Aug. 11, yelled out his car window, “I’ll get that f-ing picture of Chris!” Chronicled neatly and often discreetly in the Star’s archives are about a decade’s worth of frivolous, hilarious, and occasionally wild complaints about suspicious trash and hacked devices, including an answering machine, a computer, and an Audi. And lest you assume this is just senility kicking in, I should note here that the 81-year-old wolf-crier wrote and published at least six novels during this time, giving cogent interviews all the while.
Alan Furst reported a “suspicious FedEx truck” parked in his driveway on Hampton Street on Friday at around 9 p.m. Mr. Furst stated that he passed his house while on his way back from an errand and saw the truck in his driveway.
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