Move over, ghosting. 'Breadcrumbing,' or stringing people along, has increased during the pandemic, and can make people feel lonely and helpless. Here are a few helpful coping methods, writes ValWalkerAuthor
of 625 young adults aged 18 to 40 helps to explain the distress of being breadcrumbed. The research compared the particular effects of being ghosted and breadcrumbed and indicated that being breadcrumbed had more negative effects on mental health than other noncommittal behaviors.Breadcrumbing triggers addictive behaviors
. Breadcrumbing employs reinforcers that stimulate addictive behavior . The basic motivator of this behavior is the anticipation of the reward.Breadcrumbing may cause a greater sense of helplessness than ghosting. Compared to ghosting when the relationship suddenly and completely ends, breadcrumbing lures the recipient into a long, extended, and continuous situation of being on standby, living with unpredictability and uncertainty while waiting for the breadcrumber to make a commitment.
The humiliating experience of being breadcrumbed—getting hooked on the breadcrumber’s reactions, being stuck in helplessness, and feeling excluded and lonely—makes breadcrumbing a particularly cruel practice. Even though some breadcrumbers may not be intentionally manipulative the resulting damage needs to be further understood and researched.
In a world with noncommittal behaviors increasing around us, being a survivor of repeated breadcrumbing can lead to isolation when we realize we have been betrayed, manipulated, or downright exploited one too many times. It would be understandable to want to withdraw or avoid the interest of a new friend, date, or employer. Or we could easily fall into the pitfalls of being as callous, indifferent, or unkind as others have been to us.
As someone who was unmercifully breadcrumbed in an exciting new business relationship and suffered the consequences of sharing too much of my intellectual property, I can attest to the serenity of living with integrity. When all else fails in a world rife with noncommittal behavior, at least I have my character to hold onto.“When all is said and done, all anyone has left is their integrity at the core… Don’t give that away too.
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