'My dad and I have bonded predominantly over food. [...] Now I look at my fixation with nutmeg as my ancestors guiding me on a path to acceptance and growth.'
Often I get fixated on an ingredient. Whether it’s a herb, grain or spice, I try to honor something that existed long before I did by making it the focus of a new recipe. This time, it was nutmeg, a spice I have always loved but hardly put to use. Usually, recipe development takes lots of trial and error, but this cake — this— was perfect at first bite. What I uncovered wasn’t just a recipe for an exceptional dessert, but also part of myself I never knew existed.
Now reconnected with my father, I’ve found family all over: aunts in New Jersey, a grandfather in New York and a grandmother in Jamaica. Slowly connecting with them has been a blessing, though admittedly, it is quite hard to juggle getting to know such a large family as a new mum. If you know, you know.
My dad and I have bonded predominantly over food. We’ve talked about his famous tuna scrambled eggs, his tricks to the best Jamaican-style fried dumplings and so much more. Now I look at my fixation with nutmeg as my ancestors guiding me on a path to acceptance and growth. I don’t know who those angels are, but I am at a place where I have felt the most peace in my life, and so to them I am eternally grateful.