The Brands Are (Literally) Too Horny and Must Be Stopped

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The Brands Are (Literally) Too Horny and Must Be Stopped
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Yes, technically you *can* say all of the things these food brands thought of saying during sex, but Lord, you should not

say all of these things during sex, but Lord should you not. How is “you can go elbow deep in me” something you can say when you manage a social media account? What does two-minute sex have to do with chunky soup?? Is this whole thing just an IRL version of that Sara Lee SNL skit?

Initially we were going to rank every food brand’s response, but given that they are all the worst, it seemed pointless. Unless you have some very specific tastes , hearing your partner say “” is going to kill the mood for at least an hour. The point may be to keep these food brands top of mind, or to dick around on a slow day on Twitter, but the result is so off-putting as to make the ideas of both sex and food unappealing.

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