'In the heat of the moment, kids lack the ability—not the will—to put words to how they are feeling.'
In order to guide kids through problem situations, it is essential to begin with a basic understanding of how the human brain responds to stress.In the heat of the moment, kids lack the ability—not the will—to put words to how they are feeling.
Applying knowledge of the brainstem to our interactions with kids helps us understand that when the brainstem is activated, a child’s heart may automatically race, their breathing may instinctively quicken, and/or their blood pressure may suddenly rise, causing their face to flush or their bodies to feel uncomfortable. All of these physical responses are automatic and beyond a child’s active control.
, it activates the survival functions of the brainstem. Together, these parts of the brain adhere to the “better safe than sorry” principle, activating survival functions and flight/flight/freeze responses anytime they detect a threat, without necessarily evaluating the nature of the threat. Have you ever jumped when you saw something coiled in the grass, only to realize it is a garden hose rather than a snake? That’s your amygdala talking.
The neocortex is involved in “higher” brain functions such as problem-solving, reasoning, planning, logical thought, and language. Developmentally, the neocortex is not fully mature until a person is in his/her twenties. It is not surprising then—nor should it be the mark of a “problem” child—that kids need consistent adult intervention and guidance to be able to fully access the logical, rational, thinking part of their brain.
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