Your child has been labeled, and it's easy to continue to see those labels. But as her parent, you're in a position to see -- and help bring out -- her unique strengths. Follow this structure to help build self-esteem.
and makes his mind light up. You can ‘play’ while making your bed, imagining the sheets to be ghosts or the walls of billowy caverns. You can ‘play’ at solving a geometry problem, as you tinker with one proof after another until the most elegant one pops out. You can even ‘play’ picking up dog poop in the backyard, as my son, Tucker, does. He races with our Jack Russell terrier, plastic bag in hand, picking up one pile after the next.
Too many parents, teachers, and coaches make the mistake of jumping in at this point — skipping steps 1 and 2. When problems arise, they ask the child to try harder, to practice, practice, practice. Asking a child with ADHD to try harder is like asking a nearsighted person to squint harder. Eyeglasses work better. Creating a connected childhood and opening up opportunities to play provide the eyeglasses. Once they are in place, the cycle of excellence runs on automatic pilot.
By recognition, I do not mean awarding him a prize or a lead role in the school play. I mean that someone — a teacher, teammate, parent, or friend — gives him a pat on the back or a silent nod, some word or gesture to let him know that the person notices and appreciates the progress he has made. The single most important treatment for ADHD — or for any child, at any age — is to enter into this cycle of excellence. It’s open to everyone, everywhere, always. Parents shouldn’t worry as much about grades as about their child’s progress in this cycle.
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