We ranked the 35 best fictional TV schools, factoring in the apparent educational value, the students who go there, and more
Photo: Vulture, Netflix, MTV and Fox Over the years, television has provided us with and endless array of fictional schools. Some of them are much cooler than real schools, in both architectural appeal and student body. Some of them lay on top of the entrance to Hell, so big vampire fights with really hot people take place in the hallways at night. Others, like Ryan Murphy’s new Netflix series The Politician, are extremely wealthy bastions of privilege and ambitions.
33. Newport Union, The O.C. Yikes. This school was a mess, and so was The O.C.’s attempt at depicting a public school: Its assumption, it seems, is that all public schools are filled with bad kids who are even worse than the rich bad kids at the Harbor School, mainly because of their socioeconomic standing. The bad kids at the Harbor School party and do drugs, but the bad kids at Newport Union do real-life crimes and stuff.
29. Otter Bay, Big Little Lies Otter Bay is a public school in Monterey that is, in name and appearance, as fancy as a private school on the East Coast. It’s clean, architecturally pleasing enough to host an Audrey Hepburn and Elvis trivia night , and the children are very aware of climate change and great music. It also has one of those covered walkways, which is great for dramatic run-ins, like in season one when Jane attacks Renata’s eye.
25. Baxter High, Chilling Adventures of Sabrina It’s unclear what Sabrina learns at Baxter High, the second school on this list that exists in a town called Greendale. The thing about Baxter High is that it looks like it used to be a Prohibition-era billionaire’s estate and everyone dresses like it’s the 1950s but it appears to be 2019? If I attended Baxter, I’d be too confused about what year it is to learn.
21. Lawndale High, Daria Lawndale has upsides and downsides: There was a self-esteem class, which every real high school should have. But on the downside, it was obsessed with athletes to the point where grades of athletes were altered. Under Angela Li, the school’s motto was “High Security for High Performance.” Her obsession with security sadly wouldn’t be as over-the-top today as it was when the show aired in the ’90s.
17. Constance Billard/St. Jude’s, Gossip Girl Nearly every character at Constance/St. Jude’s got into an Ivy League even though the only thing any of them learned in high school was how to make their uniforms look high fashion. Being rich — it has its benefits! 13. Hawkins Middle School, Stranger Things Hawkins, Indiana, sits above a hotbed for a dusty world filled with monsters very hungry for humans, which really diminishes the value of its schools. But the students at Hawkins Middle have Mr. Clarke, a teacher so dedicated to science that he will take phone calls from 12-year-olds at 10 p.m. on a Saturday. He’s also kind of hot.
9. Krelboyne, Malcolm in the Middle My friend who is a public school teacher told me that the the Krelboyne program for gifted students on Malcolm in the Middle has a has a “goddamn FANTASTIC gifted program for a low-income area.” He would know, and I would not.
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