The 2023 Oscars Won’t Have a Red Carpet

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The 2023 Oscars Won’t Have a Red Carpet
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The Academy Awards are doing a full gut reno on Hollywood’s most famous flooring.

announced that, in a change to over 60 years of history, the show’s red carpet will be torn out. In its place, the organization rolled out a brand-new “Champagne” carpet. And Champagne, it turns out, looks a whole lot like beige.

And it’s not even a particularly nice beige either. It looks like the Academy bought it from a Facebook Marketplace listing for “BRAND NEW Safavieh .” Creative consultant Lisa Love told the why she made the change: “We chose this beautiful sienna, saffron color that evokes the sunset, because this is the sunset before the golden hour.” That’s a lot of words for. It sounds like something George Santos would say if he were a door-to-door rug salesman. This isn’t even beige butbeige.

Apparently, the reason she and co-consultant Raúl Àvila went with the rent-a-carpet fabric sample probably called “Ecru Ennuiis that, this year, the carpet will be enclosed so as to make the photos look more like an evening event despite arrivals happening at 3 p.m. They said they wanted to use a lighter shade to balance the darker space. I suspect it’s actually because theteam landed the Oscars gig and put in the wrong carpet order by accident.

If they really wanted to go for a pop of Champagne, wouldn’t they have chosen something more iridescent, more golden, and less “standard-issue tote bag”? The Oscars are supposed to be a night for unabashed, cheesy ostentation! Replacing the red carpet with this blank template is the visual equivalent of the Oscars ceremony undercutting itself with self-deprecating jokes.

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