'If I can help one 14-year-old girl or boy who's going through something, it makes the pain that I go through worth it. I don't know, I think that's what makes YouTube different, it's very connected, it's very raw.' tanamongeau
The date June 22, 2018, probably means nothing to you at this point. Maybe it was the date of your Pride weekend house party, or your first vacation day in Aruba. Maybe you sat on the couch and binge watched Season 2 of, or maybe you refreshed your Twitter moments every hour to check for random new celeb beef.
Yeah, definitely. I think in the moment I was so excited for it to be a real possibility and I definitely was harboring a lot of really negative emotions towards VidCon, just thinking in a really unhealthy way. And I think it wasn't until I stepped out of it and left Anaheim, really spent months looking at the whole situation as a whole and everything, that I really looked at it for what it was.
Absolutely. I was so angry after TanaCon. My first initial reaction was lots of anger towards Michael Weist, lots of anger towards myself. Obviously the biggest heartbreak I'll probably feel in my entire life. The second that I got back from TanaCon I went straight to my best friend's house and Shane literally drove there. It wasn't even like days in between, that was literally my initial, initial reaction.
I think it's very interesting, in any scandal or any time of bad things, to see people who claimed a week prior to be your ride or die now exposing your deepest darkest secrets for YouTube because it's easy to bandwagon hate you. Those kinds of things are very interesting to me, but I don't think my circle of friends changed drastically. It was more that I kind of realized the importance of keeping a small circle and trusting a very small amount of people.
Absolutely. I think at the end of the day, they make me who I am. I couldn't do anything, literally anything, if it wasn't for the people viewing my videos, watching them for me, loving me. At times when I fuck up, I turn my head and all of a sudden I'm not listening to them, that would be so inauthentic and fucked up. My fans, they give me everything.
Yeah, I've always loved telling stories. I've always loved writing, I've always loved listening to people's stories, so to be able to blow up on YouTube for storytime is something I'm still so grateful for because that's always something I've wanted to be able to do on YouTube: to be able to tell my fucking story because I have a crazy life and I attract the craziest, craziest shit.
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